how to use the CXTPTablControl

I use it (CXTPTabControl) extensively.  What do you want to know?

I derived a class from CXTPTabControl and while the APIs don't line up, it is very similar.  You add a view to create a tab, etc.  Don't forget you have to manually delete views if you remove them from a tab.   Get to know CXTPTabManagerItem very well.  You will walk and manipulate the CXTPTabControl's tabs as elements of CXTPTabManagerItem's. 

Familiar APIs include:

InsertItem
SetSelectedItem
GetSelectedItem
EnsureVisible
DeleteItem //deletes the tab but your view object will still be alive, just invisible.

I never was able to roll in CXTPTabClientWnd's sexy tab groups because it is tightly intertwined with MDI and CXTPMDIFrameWnd, and Im an SDI-based app.  If you are able to include tab groups, please post.

Im sure there is more than one way to do that, but in my subclass, I overrode "OnItemClick", which is called whenever a tab is clicked.

My method of course then does any specific noficiations. I also override OnNavigateButtonClick to catch the user closing a tab (check out XTP_TABMANAGER_BUTON_CLOSE) .

You mean appearance attributes of the view the tab manages or the actual tabs themselves? Your redraw/invalidaterect calls may only be affecting the small rectangle that holds the tabs themselves.

To change attributes of the tabs, I stick with the APIs (SetCaption(), SetTooltip(), etc).  If you are having a hard time getting an effect, try a sledge hammer and see what happens:

MyTabManager->GetParent()->Invalidate();

I went back and looked at the view code for the views I assign to the tabs and don't bother with any redraws or invalidates.